Burke is a month old!

June 30, 2013

Dear Burke,

   You are our sweet blue-eyed baby boy, still! We are so in love with you. You brighten our day and keep us awake at night, but we wouldn't have it any other way. This past month has been a whirl-wind of emotions. You have been a little colicky in your first week of life, then you were admitted to the hospital your third week of life all the while mommy has been finishing up her last semester of nursing school and working 3-12 hours shifts. I am counting down the days till I get a few months off with you, and they are coming soon!

   On your second night home, you decided that your tummy hurt too bad and you cried straight from 9pm till 1am. I was trying everything to comfort you, but it would only last for about 10 minutes, then you were back to crying! It broke my heart. I researched and researched until I fell upon a few reasons. They included dairy in my diet, gas from sucking in too much air while eating and acid reflux. So, like the person I am, I made every possible modification that I could to alleviate your pain. This past month it seemed to have been a little better, at least you didn't cry like that again. However, you then decided that you were going to spit-up, projectile vomit and have LOTS of gas instead. I still knew something was wrong, but felt a little clueless because it was a little better. You just grinned and bared it!




 By your first week you were holding your head up so strong, many were impressed. We gave you a paci in the hospital because you were fussy at 2am. The nurses strongly advised against it, but we did it anyway. :) Bristol is all over you saying “Look at me baby brother, I’m your big sister!” She wants to care for him by helping a lot!! You are very lucky to have such a wonderful big sister.

By two weeks old you were giving me 5 hour stretches of sleep at night. Ahh.. they were amazing. You would cluster feed at night and eat between 8-10 ounces of milk between 7pm and 11pm. Those were the nights you would sleep the longest! You also love to be held. Since I had the moby because of your sis, you have lived in that thing. You love being close to my heart and snuggled up to my chest. I love it, too! Your gas and fussiness has subsided with the elimination of dairy, yay! Bristol is still all over you, but now making the comment “Mommy, Burke needs you a lot, huh?” She is so sweet, but I can tell she is figuring out this adjustment and realizes how much time you take. But, she still loves you and kisses you non stop!




When you were three weeks, you visited the hospital. It was the scariest moment of your mommy and daddy's life! But, you were okay and we were so relieved. After being pumped full of all of the antibiotics they gave you, we discovered you bacterial flora in your tummy was exacerbating your already upset tummy. I decided to start taking probiotics that would then transmit through my breastmilk and they seemed to help a lot. You are so smiley. You sleep a lot at night and during the day. It is wonderful!

   You are growing so much and we are so happy about that. At your 1 month appointment you weighed just over 10 lbs. You love to eat and you are eating a lot. Just at the end of this month you can focus your eyes and you are starting to follow us when we move in front of you. It is fun to see you develop.

   Burke, we love you dearly. You are such a wonderful baby boy. You have already taught us so much in your short time here, and I am sure you have much more to teach us. We cannot wait to spend more time with you and to watch you grown and learn.

Love always,
Mommy

Burke @ 1 month

The scariest moment of our life... thus far.

Burke was 3 1/2 weeks old when he was admitted to the hospital for a fever. This is how it all happened.

We are co-sleepers around this household for many reasons. The main one is that I breast feed and it is much easier to roll over and nurse a child then it is to get out of bed and walk to his room, pick him up, sit in a chair, feed him, put him back, walk back to my room and attempt to fall back asleep. That was exhausting just typing.. Anyway, since we are co-sleepers, I am able to monitor him very closely at night. I have heard of many stories that this is what is so beneficial of co-sleeping, being extremely in-tune with your baby! I noticed he was pretty hot all night, but also knew that temps rise at night, so I was alert to this, but not yet concerned. That was until I woke up with an oven right next to my chest. I was worried, so I checked his temp. It was elevated so I checked it rectally and it was 100.4, which is the cut-off for a fever. My first thought was GBS positive and the lack of antibiotic treatment due to me getting to the hospital late. Mommy guilt set in. The next thought was that this was all my fault, I had been selfish in wanting to labor at home, I took the advice of my midwife that as long as my membranes were intact I could do that and now because I chose that, Burke has a fever, which could indicate a serious illness because I did not have the 4 hours at the hospital that it takes to administer the antibiotics... sigh..

So, I called the pediatrician and she advised that we come in right away. (Much nicer than going straight to the ED.) We got there and his temp came in at 100.5. She gave the most thorough assessment I could ever ask for hoping to find some indication as to what was going on in hopes to rule out meningitis or any other serious problem and there was NOTHING. We were both sad and knew what this meant, to the hospital we go!

I called Sam at work, luckily Bristol was still in daycare, and he met me at the hospital. I was a mess, stressed out and emotionally drained. We were admitted right away and within 1 hour Burke was whisked away for a multitude of testing. I didn't want to leave his side, but they advised that we go get something to eat and try to relax, the procedures would be sterile and no one could be in there. I hated that! But, we did as we were told. The nurse offered to call me as soon as they were done and I was very pleased with that. Burke had to get a lumbar puncture to get spinal fluid in order to test for meningitis. They told us that since he is so little, it might take more than 1 try, however, they would not try more than 3 times. He had to have 2 attempts, but they got it. He then had to get blood drawn and an IV started.

Once we all got back to his room, the nurses swarmed our room to start some meds. He was put on 3 different drugs, 2 antibiotics for the meningitis and 1 antiviral to treat any viral infection. He was also put on a heart monitor to watch all of his rhythms. They came into the room with each administration of the meds, which seems like every hour and then would check him every few hours as well. Everything seemed to be moving in fast-forward and we were just so overwhelmed. All I can say is that I am grateful that I know the silence buttons on all of the machines because they were going off like crazy every time we would move him and it drove us nuts! He also had about 3 different sites for blood draws because the nurses that were working on him had a difficult time, I completely understand this, getting his vein. They even woke us up at 3 am to get a lab draw for a level. I couldn't believe that.. but, sometimes the drs order things in the middle of the night and it really makes NO SENSE!!

Bristol was able to come visit us each evening and she was so concerned for Burke. It was a sweet moment that I will never forget. She kept pointing to his arm and asking why he had all those holes in him. She is such a sweet little girl.

I realized, again, why I cannot work in peds. Seeing our little guy hooked up to so many different tubes, to be poked and prodded until it exhausted him and to have the frustration of the parent when trying to nurse an infant with all of this and the stress... yikes! Overload!!

In the end, after 72 hours of monitoring, everything came back negative (thank goodness!!) and it looks like he had a viral infection. They treated him for all the serious infections just as a precaution, which I was very grateful for. It was a terrifying moment for us, but we are extremely blessed to have a healthy, happy boy!

Aunt Kiki Came to Visit

It has been a whirlwind over the past couple of weeks, but I am so excited that my little sis could make the trek out to NC to visit us and the new babe. It was a relaxed week with her here, me being off for most of it! We were able to spend time together and she was able to continue to help me adjust to 2 kiddos. Since Burke was a week early, and Katie wanted to make sure she didn't miss it (with Bristol she booked her flight to come in on her due date, and she was 6 days late, so she missed seeing her!) she came 2 weeks after he was born. It was perfect timing, though, because Sam could feel comfortable going back to work and I was going to be starting my last semester of nursing school doing my capstone clinical hours. She would be home with the kids on Friday, and then head back to LA on Saturday while I was at the hospital for 12 hour shifts.

It was so nice having her here with us. Bristol loves her Aunt Kiki and had a blast playing with her. We even ventured out of the house a couple of times which was really nice to have the extra hands with our adventures!

Burke's Newborn Photos

Burke was 9 days old when we were able to get his newborn photos done. Our photographer, Jessica Neal Kent, was amazing, once again! She did our maternity photos as well and we are in love with both of the sessions. Of course, this one with sweet baby Burke is precious. He was amazing, slept through most of it. We did it all in our back yard, which really isn't a yard at all, but the pictures make it look like an lush, overgrown jungle! It was hot and humid and perfect for a newborn to be naked.

Burke is 1 week young!

I have been trying hard to soak up these first 2 weeks of this sweet baby boy, for they go too fast and there is nothing like the first few weeks of a newborn. They are tiny, tiny and so sleepy. They are just there, figuring out their little body's and this new world. They gaze off into the distance, not noticing what is right in front of them. Sometimes I think they are so close to the vail that they can see right back to where they came from. I have been trying to be mindful and take a lot of picutres just like I did with Bristol, but this seems to be just as difficult as everyone said it would be. Being a new mother of 2, my hands are tied. Sam stayed home with us for most of this first week, but we knew he had to go back to work so he could take time off when I had to get back to clinical, which would be next Friday, 2 weeks postpartum. 

This week, Burke and I have learned quite a bit about each other. On our second night home, Burke decided it was time to be fussy and cried straight from 9pm until 1am. I took him downstairs because this was the night before Sam would have to go back to work. I tried everything, from rocking, to the swing, to swaddling, I tried it all. Nothing helped. If it did help, it only lasted 10 minutes, then back to screaming crying. I felt so bad, but after about 2 hours of this, I let go. I decided nothing I did would help so I just held him and started researching! Come to find out, he is gassy and is having a hard time digesting the products that are in my milk. Also, he might have a little reflux. So, I did what I do and decided to make every change possible. I first decided I need to eliminate dairy. Then, I needed to breast feed on an incline and leave him inclined for 1/2 hour post-feed. The next day I did all of these things. The incline seemed to help and after a few days of no dairy, he seemed a little better. No crying for 5 hours at night, but he was spitting up everywhere and everything. Well, it seemed that way, I'm sure he was still holding some down. But, no crying! That was my main concern.

Burke was just like his sister and could hold his head up right away. I think the moment they are born laying on my chest they both held up their heads. It's pretty amazing. He has a lot of control over his head. Maybe it's because both of them have little heads (Thank goodness)? We gave Burke a paci in the hospital on day 2 because he was fussy at 1am and I wanted to sleep a little. The nurses gave me a little lecture on nipple confusion and with hesitancy handed over the paci. I wasn't worried, but I guess that's because Bristol had a paci early on and did fine. Who knows, my next might not do so well. 

Here are some pictures of our week and one of Burke (1 week) with his elephant from Gracy and Papa. 

Burke Samuel Kelly

Burke's Birth Story-

This summer started my last semesters of my first year in my MSN program. This first summer semester I have been doing my Community Health rotation at Vidant Occupational Health. Being 9 months pregnant and being on my feet for about 30 hours a week has been a little challenging, yet I am thrilled to have been keeping busy. It was a Thursday, May 30th and I was having Braxton Hicks contractions as usually. They had been starting earlier in the day and lasting longer, but it was to be expected, being 38 weeks along. That day, during clinical, we had a fire drill around 2. My shift ended at 2:30, so I was ready to go. I had started this roation a week early so that I could finish the day before my due date, which is what I had envisioned the day Burke would be born. I never expected to have an early baby! During the fire drill, we all stepped outside and the RNs I was working with asked me if I was having contractions. I must have had a look about me that said uncomfortable. I was having Braxton Hicks, but nothing seemed different. After my shift I went home. I got comfortable in my chair and started my hypnobabies track, like I always do each day after school or clinical. I fell asleep during this track, which usually happens. As soon as I woke up, I hit the floor with a good strong contraction. I really couldn't believe this was happening. I text Sam, who was at work till 5, that I had just had a contraction that made me hit the floor on all fours. He text back that he was shocked and he was in a bit of denial, too!

Sam came home after work and picking up Bristol. By then it was 5:30 and my contractions were 10 minutes apart, lasting about 30 seconds. I still was in denial. But, I decided to text my doula, Kim, and let her know. The text verbatim- "Hey! Don't think this is it, but I wanted to touch base. Having contractions about every 10 minutes.. I've had 2 in the last hour that are making me stop and bend over." She responded "Oh my. Thanks for letting me know. Exciting! I'm still in New Bern, just keep me posted." Kim was doing her clinical in New Bern which was 45 minutes away. I knew it was going to be awhile so she would have time to get back here. At this point, it was 6 and I needed to get my treats ready for my nurses. I made some rice krispy treats and that helped keep my mind off of things.

That evening, my group for class was going to meet and work on our mock Health Fair project that we would present the next day. I knew I probably wasn't going to be there the next day, so it was important that I work on it that night. My classmate, Marissa, text me to offer me a ride to school that evening so we could work on it. I told her yes, but did not tell her I was in labor. When she showed up at my house, there was no denying my need to stop during the contractions to breathe. But, I was determined to go to the library and help out with the project. I felt great, just needed 30-45 seconds every 10 minutes to breathe! :) So, we went to the library, met up with Courtney and got a private room. We were able to complete most of the project and I was just laboring along nicely. It always helps to get your mind off things. The girls were great to allow me to come and I was grateful that I could help with the project! Marissa came back to my house to put some finishing touches on the project around 8. By then my contractions were 7 minutes apart and lasting 45-60 seconds. Progressing!! I text Kim to tell her, and she started driving to our house.

Once Marissa left, it was just Sam, Bris and I and I was in more need to be on my hands and knees during the contractions. I found the best position was with my exercise ball. Bristol was trying to do the "exercise" with me which was so sweet, but a bit of a distraction. I really needed to start using my hypnobabies training. So, Sam wisked Bristol to Audrey's, our amazing neighbor who volunteered to take Bristol, and I was able to make my environment extremly calm and comforting. I turned down the lights and started my hypo track- Deepening. As soon as I did that, everything became relaxed. I was feeling my contractions, but they were just pressure. I could work with my body to make myself comfortable. It was amazing the change that it made! Audrey ended up coming up to our house and left Sam to watch the kids so she could give me a foot massage using acupressure points to make the birthing progress. It felt amazing! I am so grateful for her, especially during this time! We were able to talk and carry on a conversation, pausing during the contractions so I could focus. By this time it was 9:30 and Kim was well on her way.

Kim arrived around 10pm and by then I was about 5-6 minutes apart and 45-90 seconds long. I felt great, still able to get comfortable and still found the best position to be the ball. I had mentioned to Kim that the 2 nights before this I was up till midnight, with too much energy to fall asleep. This never happens to me, especially when pregnant. It's the curse of Mother Nature, giving women all this energy BEFORE labor. So, Kim encouraged me to try to sleep, which at this point I felt like this could be an option. So, I got up into my chair, laid back and put on the deepening track, which usually makes me fall asleep. I was able to lay there for about 10 minutes before I felt things intensifying. I got back down on the floor, with the ball and now my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart lasting 60-90 seconds. I could hear Kim and Sam whispering in the background and I knew this was probably the time to head to the hospital. I asked Kim what was up and she informed me that we should probably go. I really wanted to walk to the hospital for 2 reasons. One, we live right across the street. Two, I was determined to walk through my transition and NOT sit down. I felt like that was the biggest mistake I made during Bristol's birth and I was determined to not make it again. But, Sam really did not feel comfortable with me walking at this point and neither did Kim. I also wanted to arrive at the hospital at an 8, and did not want to be disappointed. I kept telling Kim that and at this point she said she promised that I would not be.

So, we loaded the car, and drove to the hospital. As soon as we arrived, we had to walk about 100 yards to get inside. It was a good thing we didn't walk from our house because I had to stop about every minute to breathe through a contraction. I guess with me walking, it put more pressure on my pelvic floor and made my labor progress and get a lot more intense. It was hard because even though I had my hypno track playing, once you get out of a rhythm, it takes a few minutes to get back in. But, when contractions are that close, it is even more difficult. But, it was bareable and I was still holding strong and feeling really good and confident in myself. We were admitted right a way and I was able to talk to my midwife on the phone before they took us back. While we were at the desk I was feeling pushy and knew it was close. I told my midwife, Lisa, that and she said she was on her way, about 30 minutes out. I was so happy Lisa was on call that night because she was the midwife I initally met with and really liked. I also shadowed her during Christmas break and delievered a baby with her.

After I got to my room, the nurses were amazing. We requested to be on the floor, with an exercise ball and they were right on it. When I got in there, my bed didn't work, so they had to get another one which slowed things down a bit. But, after the bed and ball arrived, I was able to get back into my routine and listen to my track. Kim dimed the lights and played some relaxation music so everyone could feel peace and calm during this birth. I think that helped a ton! My nurses were amazing. They had to start an IV with antibiotics because I was GBS positive. I distinctly remember looking at them on the ground with me, telling me to leave my arm where it was wrapped around the ball so they could put the IV in. They waitied until I wasn't contracting to do so. The other nurse was laying on the ground trying to put the fetal monitor on! It was amazing!! I don't think some L & D nurses understand the difference they can make by doing the small things like that for a women who is laboring naturally. I was so impressed and knew I was in the best hands! They wanted to check me, so I had to get up into the bed. I was at a 7.5, and looked right at Kim and told her I was very disappointed. She laughed because I wanted to come in at an 8! Little did I know that I would progress so quickly once I got there.

After they were done, I went right back to the ball and was in my zone. Kim kept at my side, along with Sam. Sam was rubbing my back and putting cold cloths on the back of my neck, while Kim was taking me to my "happy place." Don't laugh, it really worked! This was probably why I transitioned so fast. I remember telling Kim over 2 contractions that I could no longer do this and she kept saying "yes, you can." I let out one good moan and the nurse spoke up and said, "Was that harder than the last?" I said yes and she said "Alright, I'll get Lisa and she'll check you. She just got here." She came in and I got into the bed again and she said I was complete and it was time to push. I could hardly believe it. That was NO transition as I remember it. Bristol's was 2 grueling hours of the most intense discomfort I have ever experienced. This was maybe 20 minutes of a little more discomfort than the previous 8 hours. It was awesome! I got up into the bed and pushed for 25 minutes (which was crazy once again, I pushed for 2.5 hours with Bristol!) until Lisa told me I could pull him out. I loved that she let me deliver my own baby. Of course I was overly excited and he had the cord wrapped around him a bit so she had to hold me off until she got him situated, but once the time came I remember just pulling him right up to my chest and seeing that beautiful baby boy! He was perfect. I was filled with this amazingly surreal emotion and looked right at Sam who was experiencing the same thing.

Every moment of this birth was exactly as I pictured. I could not have planned it better myself. I felt the love of our Heavenly Father each moment and especially bringing that beautiful perfect boy into this world. I am very blessed to be his mother and to have him in my life. We took 2 long days to give him a name, but Burke Samuel seemed perfect. The next best moment was to see Bristol meet her baby brother for the first time. She was elated and loved him instantly. She couldn't get her hands off of him and wanted to touch him constantly. She is going to be the best big sister.

Elf on the Shelf

We have had a lot of fun around here getting to know our elf and surprising Bristol each day with "Buddy." Here is what Buddy has been up to..

Bristol has been infatuated with Buddy ever since he arrived. She has loved finding him each morning to see what he has gotten himself into. So far, he has made a mess of her toys, made a snow angel on the table, gone fishing in our toilet, and left his magic seeds which grew into a sweet surprise!

Bristol also wrote a letter to Santa and we sent it with Buddy to take to the North Pole. We have decided to use Buddy as a tool for learning. When he gets into trouble or makes a mess, Bristol has to teach him how to be good and clean up. We are trying to teach him to be more like Jesus, and to do that, Bristol has to be more like Jesus because he is watching her. She is loving every second of it!

I have truly enjoyed this first week of my winter break from school. Bristol and I have enjoyed baking together. Well, me baking and her eating!!

I ended out my first semester of grad school strong and was very excited about that. Next semester will be 2 days of clinicals and 1 day of class which will be great! I am loving grad school so far and am excited to get more hands on experience. During this break I have had a chance to shadow my midwife twice in labor and delivery. I have loved this opportunity and am leaning more towards the Certified Nurse Midwife MSN. It has been a great experience.